Renting Alpenhaus Cottage in Collingwood Ontario near Blue Mountain

My first post will be to document the reality of renting this cottage laughingly called "Alpenhaus" by the owner. It really should have been called "rightnexttothe highwayhouse" or perhaps "furnishedinthe70'shouse" or even "regularilycleanedbyblind,lazy,monkeyshouse".

I have created this post because I trusted the listing for the cottage on cottagesincanada.com and I could not find any other information about it.

Don't make my mistake.
Don't trust just what you read on these sites.
We paid $ 900.00 for two days in a very tired, very dated cottage that was located 15 feet or 4.5 meters away from a very busy highway. You will never want to use the deck unless you actually miss the big city and the incessant traffic noise!

The owner mentions 300 thread count linens as being supplied. Oooohhh... how luxurious except for the fact that these sheets were new probably 12 years ago. Instead, we got garish looking, threadbare sheets with horrid colours.

The kitchen ceiling light (flourescent, how lovely) had a collection of about 50 dead flies in it.
Great effect!!! Well done. I love Gothic art pieces like this!
The stovetop was so dirty that if you put the burners on high all of the accumulated grease and crap inside the stove started to smoke like crazy.
If the dead flies did not ruin your appetite then this definitely will.

The decorations can best be described as 1970's garage sale rejects combined with inspirational posters from a highschool guidance office!
It was just so cheesy.....and the TV upstairs is about 13 inches in size.
Honestly, how could the ownernot pay the $ 200.00 for something decent instead of having this itsy, bitsy little thing there.
We know you are cheap, the sheets don't lie but this is a joke.

Do yourselves a favour....find another cottage...actually...find a cottage.
Alpenhaus in Collingwood is not a cottage. It is a broken down, dirty time machine from the 1970's that should be avoided at all costs!

Hopefully I have convinced you to spend your vacation dollars somewhere, anywhere else!